on revelation part III

(Please read the previous two posts prior to this if you have not)

It’s now been a week and I have not fully solved this matter of direct revelation. However, in light of what has been said already, I came up with the idea of putting together a little list to check by so you might know whether or not Jesus is speaking to you. After all, what good Christian doesn’t like a list of practical guidelines? Yes, I’ll have a large serving of “tell me what to think” and a side of “how to act” please. So, here you go, I hope you find it helpful.

1. If the voice you hear sounds suspiciously like Aslan from Narnia . . it’s just a lion.

2. If the voice woke you up in church . . . probably wasn’t

3. If you didn’t set your alarm but woke up on time anyway . . very good chance

4. If the voice told you to gett a tattoo . . . depends on the tattoo

(hint: crosses are always Jesus’ idea)

5. If the voice told you to witness (Calvinist Jesus- NO, Arminian Jesus- YES)

6. If you’re high . . . it’s not Jesus

7. If you’re in jail . . . you’re more prone to think it is, but 73 to 27 it’s not . . . but roll with it anyway

8. If you’re at a wedding in Cana of Galilee in the first century and the voice tells you to fill all the wine pots with water . . . pretty good chance it’s Him.

9. If the voice tells you to write some new books of the Bible and move a few familes to a remote part of Montana . . . just go with it, could be lucrative.